Entering a conversation with the sense that the other person dislikes or distrusts you – or has a nefarious agenda – may put you in an anxious mindset that negatively affects your interaction. By assuming that the other person is approaching your interaction from a place of goodwill, it will likely go better for both of you.
How to Do It
This practice can be done before or during an interaction. Before you engage with someone across difference, try to assume that their intentions are good and positive.
The next time you feel slighted during an interaction, stop yourself from taking offense and instead try to hear the underlying comment for what it was intended to be.
Recognize that your assumptions about others and their intentions can be shaped by your own past experiences of mistreatment. Try to detach yourself from these experiences and remind yourself that the person you are meeting is not the person who mistreated you.
Pro Tip
Set the expectation to assume good intent before or at the start of your interaction, to be clear about the mindset you’d like to adopt.
Why Try It
We often instinctively assume that if an interaction makes us feel bad, then the other person must have intended to make us feel that way. This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy that causes others to distrust you. However, by assuming good intentions, we can sidestep any hurt we might feel and instead focus on the issues that are being raised in the discussion. This practice reduces the perception of threat – and can help you connect with people who are different from you.
Keep in Mind
Occasionally, people do have bad intentions. Try to remember, though, that this is rare, so those exceptions should not unduly influence your interactions.