Bridge building is vital to healthy relationships and healthy institutions. And it helps counteract the trends toward greater polarization that we are seeing in many places.
Polarization is not the same as disagreement about how to solve public problems; those disagreements are natural, even healthy. Polarization is about more than just having a different opinion than your neighbor about certain issues. Polarization occurs when we feel animosity towards neighbours, classmates or others who don’t share our politics or other views, or when we have don’t want to associate with others who are different from us.
Research suggests that polarization affects families, schools, campuses, workplaces, neighborhoods, and community and religious organizations. It stresses the fabric of our society. Here’s a few reasons why bridging differences is beneficial for our lives and society.
- It improves our health. Research has found that individuals who harbor prejudices experience elevated levels of stress and other physiological responses that, over time, can wear down their muscles and damage their immune systems.
- It strengthens families. A recent study in the United States found that Thanksgiving dinners were significantly shorter in areas where people share meals across party lines. Researchers estimated that 34 million person-hours of cross-divide discourse were eliminated in 2016 thanks to this polarization effect.
- It makes us smarter. Studies have found that when people with different backgrounds or beliefs work together, they make better decisions and solve problems more creatively than more homogenous groups do.
- It reduces violence. In polarized situations, we stop seeing people in competing groups as human beings – and that is very dangerous. Many countries, including Canada, have seen a recent sharp increase in hate crimes.
- It’s good for the bottom line. When organizations convey to their employees that they have a shared fate – meaning that they’re all going to succeed or fail together as a group – diverse teams are more productive and creative than homogenous ones.
- It supports good government. Polarization can get in the way of our elected representatives passing effective legislation. By getting past intense partisanship, our political representatives are more likely to get things done.
Guiding Principles
As you review this website, we offer a few guiding principles.
- Center on your intentions. If you are considering bridging, be honest about your intentions. Is this truly about understanding someone on a deeper level, or is it about trying to change someone’s mind?
- Don’t force it. Sometimes people aren’t ready to have a bridging moment; sometimes you might not feel up to it yourself. That’s OK. Better to wait for when the time is right.
- Be flexible. Some skills and strategies might work better in different circumstances or depending on the person. Context matters.
- Practice compassion (and self-compassion). Bridging can be emotionally difficult, and it can put stress on people – yourself included. If you can keep that in mind, it might be easier to extend feelings of grace, forgiveness, and compassion toward others and yourself. We’ll all make mistakes as we make efforts at bridging, and hopefully we can learn from them.
- It’s an ongoing journey. These skills and strategies are like a muscle that we need to exercise. Actively reflecting on our efforts – by asking ourselves what works and what doesn’t – helps us to get better.
Now we are ready to dig into the specific skills and strategies for bridging differences, starting with intrapersonal skills.