Imagining the perspective of someone from a different group – trying to see the world through their eyes and understand where they’re coming from – improves our attitudes toward that other group and makes us less likely to see them as the “Other.” However, for members of groups with less social power, giving their perspective to a member of a higher-status group might do more to improve their attitudes toward that group.
How to Do It
Perspective taking is an excellent skill to practice when you’re in conflict with someone. But in the heat of an argument, it can be hard to have the presence of mind to pause and see the world through their eyes.
That’s why it’s helpful to practice the steps below during more relaxed moments, when you’re feeling less stressed, angry, or defensive – then work your way up to deploying this skill in moments of conflict or division.
1. Pick a person from whom you feel estranged or with whom you might be at odds – perhaps they have different beliefs than yours, or they’re not part of your ethnic, religious or social group, or perhaps they’re a close friend or family member with whom you’re having an argument.
2. Imagine for a moment that you are this person, walking through the world in their shoes and seeing the world through their eyes. If you’re present with this person, think about how you, as this person, would experience that shared situation; if you’re not together, try to recall a moment that you shared, or imagine where they might be. What does the world look like from their point of view?
3. As clearly and vividly as possible, try to imagine how it feels to be them. What emotions are they experiencing, and how might that feel in their body? How might their feelings in the situation differ from yours? Can you imagine how their own unique life experiences could contribute to their own particular emotional response?
4. If you’re in a debate with this person, try to imagine taking their side and formulate an argument on their behalf. You might have an “a-ha” moment that reveals nuances about their point of view.
5. If you have the time and capacity, even try to imagine a day in the life of this person as if you were them, looking at the world through their eyes and walking through the world in their shoes.
Why Try It
Negative attitudes toward other people or groups often stem from the limits of our own perspectives: We get so caught up in our way of seeing the world that we dismiss or even dehumanize people who might see things differently. Deliberately trying to take someone else’s perspective can not only help us better understand where they’re coming from and empathize with them but also make them seem less foreign or alien to us – it reduces our tendency to stereotype people from other groups.
Keep in Mind
Our sense of another person’s perspective is often based on our own assumptions. We can never truly know what someone else’s experience is, but imagining and asking them directly are important steps in the right direction.
And if you’re part of a group with less social power, it may be more important to offer your perspective – to feel heard – rather than try to take the perspective of someone from another, more powerful group. In these situations, this “perspective giving” may do more than “perspective taking” to improve attitudes toward the other, higher-status group.