It can be hard to have constructive political conversations – especially when we’re often quick to stereotype people based on their political and related views. But if you get to know the other person first as an individual, and perhaps even better understand why they developed their perspective, the conversation is likely to be more productive.
How to Do It
Many of us have been there: We’re at a dinner with strangers when someone starts talking politics or a similar contentious topic, and it’s not long before tempers flare.
When you encounter someone who seems like their views differ from yours – perhaps their ‘look’ might make you think this – it can be tempting to dig into a political conversation.
But if you actually want to have a productive dialogue, you’ll be well-served by steering clear of politics and related contentious issues and first learning more about them – and sharing more about yourself. You could start by asking questions that uncover personal stories and experiences, such as asking about or describing an experience you’ve had that might surprise them.
If the conversations around contentious issues are unavoidable, you may find it helpful to ask questions like, “How did you develop this belief?” or “Who impacted the way you see the world the most in your life?” These questions help them focus on the reasons behind their views, which builds more understanding and deeper relationships with those with whom we disagree.
Why Try It
When you see the person before you as a three-dimensional human rather than an abstract representation of the “Other,” you’re more likely to treat them with care and respect.
When you talk about a candidate you voted for, a policy you’re in favor of or an ideology you hold, others might have assumptions about you because of those decisions or views. By getting to know people’s stories and their upbringing, we build more empathy for them and are able to navigate difficult conversations more easily.
Keep in Mind
The questions we ask matter, and can be adapted based on the context. Remember that the goal should be to authentically learn about people before their politics because you’re curious, not because you’re hoping to convince or persuade them.